The Inc.

Hot

All you need is...

Crazy Nelly

Busy, busy, busy

LL COOOOOOOOL J

It's a ghost!

Typ Shit

Hey hey here's a cool lil' pic ya'll might just like! It's kinda big so I had to link it...CLICK HERE, YOU:

I might post a different version of this pic later...watch out!

Ray Jay

Desperate Housewives

Have you guys heard of this show called "Desperate Housewives"?

Tsunami Aid

For a differently-colored version of this wacky pic click here!

Have you seen this jerk?

Clown college

No booze, no weed, no sex

mmmm

fuck you

Da Ugliest Woman 'N' Da Whirled

I fell in love with the ugliest woman in the world. She tried to give me a blowjob but I threw up on her hair, it was gross. I tried to stick it in her but her vag was cold as ice. I threw up again. After I overcame my initial nauseaa, I fucked the shit out of her. She laughed, and laughed, and laughed. It really killed my boner. I wish I were black.

Forgettable Blowjob AKA I Got Five on it

Love

The Italian Blowjob

Hey, hey, hey! What's up folks and folkettes? How's it hangin' in your neck of the woods? Ooh, no way, that's awesome! Oh me? Nothing much! I just got back from Burger King where I ate a whopper. I really fucking love whoppers! I also eat them very infrequently, but when I do...ohhhh man!!! The slab of meat is actually pretty nasty looking, but when you get that together with some fuckin'...lettuce and ketchup...and mayo...shiiiiit, that's a good burger! On the way back from Burger King, I stopped at Tom's Market and got some Appleheads, which are like Lemonheads...except apple! As I was walking out, I laughed as I remembered a so-called "love note" that was written by Michael Jack. In the note, he was calling his boyish friend by affectionate nicknames. Pretty much all I remember from the note is "Doo-doo head. Apple head." which makes me lol if I imagine Michael Jackson saying that in his goofy voice.! Well, I have to go...but I will be back.

Wu-Tang Blowjob

If you can dodge a wrench then you can dodge a blowjob

Nigro

The Facts About Weed

Lately there's been a lot of controversy about weed. Weed, also known as cannabis sativa, is a plant that grows on every continent on Earth (except Antarctica) and adult plants are generally between 1-3 meters in height when fully grown. Some people grow pot in their houses which is a lot of work and it's very dangerous (because people will sometimes try to jack you) but if you do it right you will have a lot of pot.
A lot of people feel very stongly that they don't want to smoke pot, which is cool unless it's because they are uninformed! A lot of people think that smoking pot kills brain cells and fucks up your lungs, but they are wrong on both accounts! Basically, they've pretty much proven that smoking a bowl of pot kills no more brain cells than chewing a stick of gum. As for your lungs, don't worry! Smoking weed actually opens up your airways and releives stress, and some say that these are the things most essential for promoting healthy lung function. Also, weed is an anti-cancer agent which means it shrinks tumors, so even if you got lung cancer from smoking pot, the cancer would probably jsut die off if you keep smoking. People like Dr. Drew from Loveline will try to tell you that smoking weed will shrink your penis and make you grow breasts, but they are full of shit. Fuck you, Dr. Drew.
Some religious-types think that smoking weed goes against their religion, but I asked some rasta hippies and they told me that in The Bible it specifically says that God wanted use every plant and herb. Every plant and herb.
The main reason Marijuana is illegal is because of the forrest industry trying to supress hemp. About 75 years ago Dow Chemicals funded an anti-weed film reel called "Reefer Madness." I've seen "Reefer Madness" and I can tell you that it's a joke! It portrays marijuana as a crazy drug which makes you do crazy things, which is not the way weed works at all. If you've ever seen someone get high you know that it makes people really mellowed out and connected with the world around them! Have you ever seen a mean hippie? I don't think so! If you want to see a drug that makes people go crazy, look at alcohol, which rots your liver and is actually the #1 date rape drug. Well anyways, the sterotypes conjured up by the creators of "Reefer Madness" persisit to this very day and account for the demonization of weed which has deeply permeated our society. All of this because a weed plant produces four times as much paper fiber as a tree!
You can smoke weed anywhere! You can smoke weed in car, on a bus, or in a plane. Some people smoke weed in the park, while others smoke weed downtown in broad daylight. Wherever you smoke, just make sure a cop isn't around to see you do it. Speaking of cops, cops are the reason why nearly every person is in jail because they got caught with weed. This is a terrible injsutice and if you want to change weed laws you should go to the NORML website and sign up for their mailing list.
Well those are the facts on weed, now you can make your own decision.

Fuck whitey

Hey, dawgs! Well tonight let's see...at about 5:30 I went to the sushi station with jeff and blew over 15 bucks on that shit! What??!? I don't have the money for that shit...am I CRAZY??!?! Maybe so! Well aaaanyways I ate some good stuff...I had squid things which look cool and deep-fried shrimps and eel some deep-fried tuna, salmon, and crab wraps which were yum yum. After sushi we got some pabst and then came back to my house and then watched some episodes of upright citizens brigade, which is a very f-u-n-n-y sketch comedy show that used to be on Comedy Central. I drank a bunch of beers and at some point jeff was like "Don't you think you've had enough, slugga?" and I was like..."No.....fuck you!" and then I chugged another beer down lawl! At some point Jeff left and I ate almost a whole block of dried ramen noodles. By "almost" I mean I ate about 90% of it. Looking back, I am kind of proud but kind of grossed out at the same time...ah, c'est la vie! Well Rush was supposed to come over at 7:30 and I kept talking to him on his sidekick II until like 11 at which point he just signed off! Even up until like 5 minutes before he signed off rush was like "Yea" which was a response to the question "ya still comin' over?" but I guess not, though, ha? Well by 11:30 I was feeling really tired so I went to bed and I slept well until 2:30 am when I heard somebody coming in the back door. TUrns out it was Sam, who was coming to spend the night in his own bed for about the first time in a week. Puuuuussssssy. j/k! Earlier tonight Jeff told me that he hates sports and I was like "puuuuussssy!" Oooh also after Jeff left I opened up some refried beans and ate them with a plastic, magenta butter knife. That was kind of gross but in retrospect, I'm guess I'm kind of glad that I "got my bean on." Well anyway, after sam got back I had kind of a hard time falling asleep again but sometime after 3 am I began to drift off once agian. This lasted until I heard my front doorbell ring at aboout 3:30 and it was jeff and he showed me something he'd picked up and then he left and I was like "bye!" and at that point I was still in my boxers, which if you think about it is kind of funny! Well okay I guess actually that depends on how funny you think underwear is and I think it's pretty funny because I think we both know what's under the underwear haha!!!!

Top 5 Songs EVer

1. Tech N9ne - Einstein
2. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
3. Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart
4. Wu-Tang Clan - Gravel Pit
5. Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling In Love

Top Shit

Tonight I watched some King of the Hill, that was pretty funny! Hank Hill is my favorite character on the show because he is kind of ignorant but he's got a lot of heart. The other night I watched Alias for the first time and, just like I predicted, it sucks. Tonight on TV I saw a teaser for an episode of Blue Collar TV where Larry the Cable Guy acts like Spiderman! It actually looked kind of really funny! Also tonight for the first time I saw this weird TV show which has Kelly Osbourne and some other crazy jerks and it was really weird and creepy but also kind of funny! I ended up watching a whole hour-long episode of this crazy show, which was some wacky high-school thing drama kind of like saved by the bell mixed with The OC. Speaking of which I've only seen the OC like once and it sucks! I don't get why people like this show, it's the worst thing on TV! You might disagree with me, but I don't care 'cause I'm not listenin'! This is Randy B., signing off.

White Noise

In honor of the Michael Keaton movie "White Noise," I have made this White Noise-esque picture with Michael Keaton as Batman and it's pretty trippy!

Sushiu!!!

I'm thinking of a number between one and...

GET SOME TODAY

There was a long time ago when I was chillin with Shaq, just layin low and trying to let some shit roll of my back, ya know? We had a slam dunk contest (I won) and then we retired back to Shaq's lounge for a few drinks. Shaq mixed me up a killer Rob Roy and I mixed Shaq up the best damn vodka and red wine he'd ever had. It was really romantic. Well, at one point, Shaq started crying a bunch.
"Shaq, whoa, what's wrong, man?" I asked inquisitively.
"It's just...it's just..." struggled Shaq, "It's just...I keep thinking of all of those poor victims of the killer tsunami...what a senseless act of horrible natural tradgedy that was!"
"Oh, Shaq!" I sobbedd, "I know! Oh lord, I know. I mean, how many people died? Like a million or something? Now, I'm no numerologist (that's for sure), but I can definetly tell you, for a fact, that that's a lot of fuckin' people!"
"I knoowwwwww," wailed Shaq, sobbing into the official Lakers jersey he had given me mere hours beforehand. "It's reallllllly gayyyyy!"
"Here Shaq, have a sip of soothing vermouth," I offered, cradling the big man in my arms. He paused for a moment to gulp down some of the sweet, sweet booze, then resumed his howling. "Let it all out, honey, let it all out."
"Ahhhhhhhhh," blubbered Shaq, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
"Shaq, it's okay to cry. You're not a pussy...here, have another sip of soothing vermouth." I ladeled some more of the alcohol down his gullet and then Shaq cried for another hour then he practiced his free throws but he didn't get any better, he actually got worse.
"Jesus, Shaq!" I barked, watching the mammoth African-American miss shot-after-shot, "What the fuck is wrong now?"
"I was...I was..." stammered Shaq, "I was just thinking about all of those poor office workers and firefighters who died on September 11th, 2001...and...and it made me saaaaaaad!" wailed Shaq Fu, breaking into hysterics.
"Oh, brother!" I groaned. "That's really not funny at all...now put some clothes on, Harpo."

Yarrrrgh fu

Scotty doesn't know

I...I...I....love you!

I'm cryin' gangstar tears {];__-<O

Hey I just realized that the sublime song "What I Have" (j/k that's just a joke) has a sample of my main man ODB at the beginning. I think this is ironic because Bradley the sublime guy died and then ODB died.

Hey

With all of the hub-ub and buzz about this show "Fear Factor" I've been trying to figure out why America likes to see sexy women being forced to eat fried dolphin cocks and have their faces covered in bugs. After a bunch of thinking about this, I decided I just don't get it buuuuut...I have a cool idea for a new show and it's kind of like "Fear Factor" but with a major twist! First of all, dudes: don't worry there's still plenty of sexy women! Yessssss. Well by this point you are probably asking yourself, "I don't get it, what makes this show special?" Chill out, here's the scoop: instead of playing up the already worn-out gag of having sexy women eat cat balls and praying mantises, my show will have them shitting out cats balls and praying mantises. The logistics of turning this act into a competitive event are actually quite simple; it all starts with a sexy woman having her teammate grab handfulls of gross shit out of a plexiglass box that we'll call "Station A" and cramming them into her sexy butthole. It really doesn't matter whether her teammate is a girl or a guy, it just matters that whatever they're shoving up there should be alive or previously alive. Possible packables might include earthworms, hissing cockroaches, or owl pellets. Once the sexy woman has had her ass smashed full of unmentionably revolting objects, she has to quickly saunter over to a nearby scale sitting on top of a wooden crate, a set-up that we'll label "Station B". She must then summon all of her strength to eject the contents of her butt onto the scale with the goal of depositing a predertimined mass of whatever substances have been sexily placed inside of her. After she has eliminated her bounty, she must hop back over to Station A and "re-up" her butt with more gushy objects, running back and forth until she has finally shit out two pounds of sea urchins or whatever. Maybe in between the stations she should also have to swim through a pool of piss while holding her breath. All of this takes place in a warehouse on a dock. Or a dick.

I like to move it, move it

Tonight has been one of the lonliest night of my life! I can't sleep and I'm all alone in a house where I probably won't be living in a month. I'm getting so desperate for real human contact that I'm about ready to walk down the street and ask bums if they want to rub my back. What I really need is a for a gal to look in my eyes and tell me that she loves me, but I don't see that happening any time soon. I'm not a naturally negative person but a sudden influx of wack drama into my life has me feeling pretty down-and-out. The good news is that I am still a jerk and my penis is larger than ever, so I guess things can't be all that bad...well, I have to go...but just cause I feel like it, here's a picture of two lesbians engaged in sexy sexiness.

lolo

Don't you hate it when some drunk chick is sucking you off and she throws up all over your cock?

Lord knows I do. Well hey everybody what's up? How are you doing? I hope thay all of you are doing well...except for the jocks. I fucking hate the jocks. If I had a gun I'd shoot 'em all. I guess they are just lucky that I don't have a gun to gun them down with. I also hate the band Modest Mouse. Speaking of hate, I thought I'd share with you the most recent entry posted in the livejournal of my pal Mia...here it is:

I hate my life more than anything on the face of the planet right now. I'm so drunk and so unbelieveabl.y sad

Now reading this comment really pisses me off because there's obviously a period right near the end but not actually at the end of the sentence. What the fuck? Mia posted this comment at 12:46 AM on the 1st, which makes me wonder why she was sitting at her computer when she should have been wearing a hat and sloppily making out with Jose Conseco. Last night I watched a fat Mexican guy do a line of coke. He looked kind of like the Michelin Man, except not white (in more ways than one, if you know what I mean).
I'd like to take a moment to talk about the greatest supermodel ever: Tyra Banks. Her ass is a spaceship I want to ride. Now, that comment might lead you to believe that I have some sort of ass fetish, but fuck you no I don't. Actually, my fetish is for riding spaceships...somehow I doubt that my most erotic fantasies will ever be fully realized.

The Top 5 Worst Words

1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. Penis
4. Satan
5. Wayons