Warning: The Butterfly Effect Ahead

Ohhhhkay so um yesterday I fuckin totally watched this DVD of a movie that I like to call The Butterly Effect. In case you don't already know, this movie stars human being extraodinaire Ashton Kutcher.
I don't know what to say about The Butterfly Effect. I will start with a brief plot outline. Ashton Kutcher plays a jerk who has strange blackouts throughout his whole life. These inexplicable memory lapses are symbolic of the gaping the plot holes created when Ashton discovers that he can...TRAVEL THROUGH TIME!!!! How exactly does he accomplish this incredbile feat? Well, by reading his diary of course. Yeah, that's about it.
This film does an admirable job of mixing disturbingly serious crazy shit with surreally zany wacky shit. The horribly awkward moments are contrasted nicely by lots of out-of-place silliness! Like the really fat goth guy who has sex a bunch and can't smoke a bong worth shit, or Ashton Kutcher's inexplicably goofy facial expressions. Quite often he is overcome with a slack-jawed look of confusion, and stares off into space.

Oh, hello Ashton! Yes, despite being a dark, weird, psuedo-scientific crazy thriller jerkfest, it's still an Ashton Kutcher movie. The man seems constantly on the edge of reverting back to Kelso-mode, but that's what makes the movie worthwhile.
The best part of The Butterfly Effect, by far, is crazy no-arms Ashton. After a wacky trip into his past, our hero wakes up with....no arms!!! Oooooh, spooky! Now, that's all fine and dandy, but the best part is when Ashton rolls around his college campus with beautiful, distended prosthetic arms. Yo, check this out:

Ha! What a goof.
"Arm: grab: granola bar."

Ohhhh, almost.
Yeah, that's the good stuff.
I have to go.