Uma Thurman is the sexiest woman on planet Earth

Hey everyone! well now it is early on saturday morning aaaaand yesterday I cleaned up my room pretty darn well! It really needed it. I found all sorts of vibrators that I had completely forgotten about! I had to get my shit cleaned up because my mom's boyfriend's daughter is spending the weekend with us, and I don't want to look like a slob. So far my conversations with her have been forced and pretty awkward, but I think she still wants my bod.
Whatever happened to pop-up video??!?!!??!?!!??!?!
Tonight I went out and hey jerks there was this guy named Billy who was drunk and pretty obnoxious!!! He wasn't really being all that bad but in his drunken stupor he kept giving everyone advice and generally just being a little weird! He kept telling this one guy Charlie that he needed to "get a job" and he was kind of half-joking but he wouldn't stop talking about it...jeez! He was like "Hey, no, now Charlie, you're my friend.....and I'm telling ya man, you need to get a job. You have never, in your life, your whole life..held a job for more than a year, Charlie." and it was fantastic!
Jennna is not feeling well so this journal entry is dedicated to her and her return to normalcy! Hang in there, playa!
I have decided that I like eating meat...it's not like I get some particular pleasure out of eating flesh, but meat is really tasty and I think it's an important skill to be able to wolf down animal parts without getting grossed out about it. Today I ate some tasty turkey chili for breakfast and for dinner I had spaghetti with meat sauce! My mom kept encouraging everybody to eat the turkey meatballs but I wasn't having that. Why? Because I am too cool for meatballs.
If you eat pecan pie at the right time of day it will be the greatest thing you have ever consumed in your life...your whole life! You just slice off a big slab of pecan pie and you eat it and you are like "MmMmmmmmm yummmm ohhh wow this is so gooood, this is like the herbal essences of the pie world cause it's making me have an orgasm...yeah baby, yeah!"
Speaking of orgasms, what if you had a bunch of candy...and you knew that somehow in the batch of candy from which this candy came from...what if you knew that at some point while that batch of candy was being made a very small amount of semen became mixed into the hot candy goo? Would you still eat the candy? Well if you said you would, I think you need to consider the very real possibility that you are a fucking slut!
Hey, friends, check out the cool picture I made for all of you. This little piece of incredible art is entitled "Kanye the Greatest"...aaaand I hope you like it! Click on this:

I love you all!