Blowjob Central

hey I am gonna tell you what
Hey jerks what's up!?! Well hey, how's it goin' dudes and dudettes? Yes, I said dudettes...you see, unlike with the medical professions, in Booztown women are welcome to come on in and participate! In fact, women drink free, so here's your free booze drink right here: heywhat the fuck this is the internet...what the fuck? Did you actually expect a crazy free drink to come out of the internet? Can I get a what the fuck? Jesus, I knew women were dumb, just not that dumb.
Annnnyways, what's uuup? As you can tell, I've got booze on the brain.......................literally!!! lol hey so tonight, I went to a kegger! Honestly, this was my first kegger. Wow, I have so many stories to tell...okay not really but kinda!!! Well lemme tell ya so this was not a huge kegger crazy shit party....they had their big 15 gallon keg and maybe 20 people tops were participating in the booze drinkin. Well so early in the night, after I had gotten my cup but before the keg had been tapped, I was talking to this guy. Well basically this guy I ended up trading him something like4 cigs for a bowl of marijuana (you know, that get you high shit) aaand he ended up just breaking the cigs!!! I ended up giving him half the cigs I had (5) out of the 10 I had bought for two bucks earlier, before the party. Aaaanyways this same guy he was drinking ginger ale and sitting on the couch plus smoking weed the whole party until I left. Well, to each his or her own but c'mon man, get up and dance. That's what I woulda said if I woulda thought of it earlier, but fuck I missed my opportunity. Tonight I learned two drinking games. One I think was called "one up, one down" and it has a rule and I figured it out pretty damn quick (it's the hands lol) aaaaanyways I also learned a game called Fire, Smoke, Higher, Lower...it kinda rhymes and it's pretty dang simple and fun! I also saw some other people do some booze act called "Cardinal Boozeface takes his Nth drink" whatever it was hella gay faggy homo shit so I just yelled really loud at everybody instead of learning some gay fag drinking routine. Aaaanyways oh I forgot the pouint the guy who broke my cigs told me the keg they had was pabst, and he told me it was 3.* alcohol and I though it was at least 4 and I asked some people and found out it actually is and i like pabst but I mean, c'mon, we can do better than like 3.2% or whatever. Anyways crazy non-drinking non-cig smoking guy was wrong, the keg was Widmeir bros Hefeweizen, which is a step up indeed! Overall the party was fun, nothing too crazy happened but I did gain a few observations aobut people to write down in my notebook. Just kidding I don't have a notebook, but if I did, I would talk about how people when they get drunk all act differently, an you can learn a LOT about somebody by the way they act, especially when they are drunk. All sorts of people from all different countries of the world with all sorts of different sexualities like to get together and drink, and when they do, all sorts of interesting stuff is bound to happen. The "crazy factor" which results from a bunch of people partying together manifests itself in different forms depending on the intensity of the party environment. If shit gets too crazy, all the women just start eating each other out on top of a table. I've seen it happen. Hey just kidding of course I haven't, but when I do see that shit you can bet I will yell something really funny like "Lesbooooos...allright!!!!!!!" or something, ya know??? I mean cause every guy looooves lesbians!! Before the kegger I was ya know just chillllllin with the people who I was to attend the party with later on and we were watching tv and two of the television programs we watched were the Spike Lee TV's "52 most irresistable women one for each week of the year lol countdown special bonanza" AAAAAAAAAND the "Fear factor joe rogan isn't funny Miss USA contestant sexy bikini stare-off very special episode bug bath eat poop lol" and this lead to several comments like "oh yeah, I'd like to super her model lol" and all sorts of such. Every guy seems to be out to prove something, especially how much they looooooooove women. Well I'm no dave chappelle on comedy central for 50 million gabillion dollars but I will tell you one thing: I hate women. no hey of course no, hey. What I am joking about is how why do guys have to be such assholes?? seriously, I mean so many duderinos are just fucker assholes, and hey, doesn't it seem like the women always in love with the assholes more than the nice guys!??! that's my genius observation thank you but hey folks really I mean, I've got nothin to prove. I am just a really sexy guy who is really strong and virile and straight ang hey I am totally just floating through life on a big manly cloud and I yell at people from my cloud. If I am floating on my cloud and I see somebody on a bike I yell out "BIKE!!!!" and that's the end of it.
Tonight I installed Netscape and man that shit is soooo sheisty! It wants to take over my computer lol!!! It's like, no man I don't want Netscape as my home page, default browser, AAAAND my default media player!! I mean it seems like all new software these days is super-invasive, right? Am I the only one who has noticed this? well whateva fuck u jer
Hey now I know it's important for me to talk about popular music, and I have something important and special to say about popular music: it sucks!!! If you don't know already all new music is bad ESPECIALLY today's best newest music! I hate all this new crap-hop and r&b and rock and anything that isn't at least 5 years old. Well not really but seriously nowadays the music you hear on your "radio" (snort) is just a bunch of 32-year-old beatwizards ripping off each others' shitty drum loops which are all gay and all the music today is just like a big gay snake that eats its own excrement and when it's done with that it starts eating its own tail, and well I don't want to give away the ending but sufficit to say the snake just disappears into thin air.
Aaanywyas instead of talking about the crappy music you like I would like to talk about the crappy music that I like!!!!111 I like the song by the roots where the chorus is some guy like "something something something and don't say nothing" blah blah blah anyways enough of that I like the song cause the chorus is hella slurred, just like the guy who is bustin that chorus out is HELLA FUCKED. well there's nothing wrong with that and I think more recording artists should record their lyrics to their music when they are in no conditional shape to be recording anything. I can't say that Mr. Roots was drunk or something when he put that on "wax" but I'd like to think so.
The other song I have liked lately is Akon feat. Styles P.: "Locked Up" the guy who I think is Styles P. delivers some well-flowed fun lyrics about being...well, locked up. It's not exactly the illest shit ever hurrd but hey, it's a living. And hey, it's get me through my day. And hey, I saw the sign. I was always fascinated with this guy Styles P. before I had ever heard his music cause every time I heard that "rap name" I would always laugh to myself: "styles p.?!?!??! what, waht like master p lololololol!" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanyways, stick with me here folks, the beat for this song is nice, I like it. It's minimalist and it has good atmosphere and works great with the vocals. The guy who I assume is "Akon" shoots up some well-crooned croonin which touches our hearts and reminds of those days long ago when we too were locked up. That's all I've got so bah okay I have to go later fags
oh by the way when I did a google search for "fear" this is the first thing that came up. Ohhh no I am soooo afriad and fearful (sarcasm)