Weeeeeeeeeeewwwww

What's up jerks? Just how is it hangin'?
Tonight I watched a fireworks display! Me and one Ms. Andrada Jones watched the fancy spectacle from the EWEB fountain! It was pretty damn fancy. In front of us was a young couple nuzzling which was kind of awkward, but it was balanced out nicely by the sassy fireworks commentators to our rear. There were a couple of guys who kept saying stuff like "Oh yeah, that's the stuff!" and "Please Hammer, don't hurt 'em!" after each impressive burst of color. This one dude was especially astute when it came to predicting the loudest explosion sounds before they reached our ears. When I heard "Here comes the bang!" I knew we were in for an earth-shaking POP! I don't know how he did it...guy musta had some intimate knowledge of fireworks or something.
There are a shitload of raspberries in my fridge. I poured some into a bowl and rinsed them off thoroughly. However, when I split them open, I saw that there were little black bugs crawling around in almost every single one. These raspberries aren't even that good, and I didn't feel like eating living creatures, so I threw out my whole bowl of raspberries after eating only 5 or so. I guess if some starving African children had been watching me on closed circuit TV they woulda gotten pretty pissed. But then again, black people just like to eat bugs.
Earlier tonight, I had a cool idea. I thought it would be really, really funny to write an e-mail to a gal I know and tell her that I'd found out I had herpes. Now, I don't actually have herpes, but I certainly do enjoy telling horribly damaging lies about myself for no reason! I was cracking up at the idea, and I was totally ready to type out that wacky e-mail. At some point, however, I realized that it's not a good idea to start rumors about yourself having an incurable sexually transmitted disease. Yup.
I've heard that R&B crooner Usher is a horrible egomaniac, and everything he's ever said or done seems to support that. Whateva! Anyway, I was thinking...you know how Ashton Kutcher had that thing with Demi Moore? Yeah, that was hot. Well, I think it's about time Usher found romance with an older woman, and there's only one negress who could possilby keep up with this madman. I'm talking, of course, about Whoopi Goldberg. These two blacks would make a perfect couple, and I pray to Kanye every night for passion to blossom between them. Here is an artist's conception of what a Whoopi/Usher romance might look like:

Yeah, that's some pretty silly stuff right there! I must go...later, jerks!