Hey, hey hey hey now

Okay folks, now there's been a lot of controversy about me...the controversy, of which I speak, is about whether I defecate or not. Well I'm here to round up the rumors like some sort of rowdy cowboy.
I don't defecate, and I don't fart. Okay, I do fart, but when I do, it smells like pudding and bananas. And rice.
Okay I defecate too. But when I shit, I shit pure fiber. What's fiber? I have no idea, but it has something to do with Total Raisin Bran. All I know is that my poop smells like raisins and bananas and makeup. Why? Cause I eat lots of makeup. I am firmly in the belief that all this makeup I eat will make me pretty, but all it seems to do is clog up my pores. Well one day I will have no pores and a lot of women will want to have sex with me. And that's more than I can say for...Eric Estrada...booooooze. Fuck you. Fag.