Chris Rock bombed, the Oscars sucked

"Why wasn't Chris in the audience more?" was the only question I could logically ask myself after watching the Oscars. "If John Stewart was the host instead of Chris Rock, he would have been the audience the whole time and wouldn't have even gone on stage at all." I said that too. Another thing about Chris Rock: he wasn't funny! What would have been funny is if he had smoked a bunch of pot before he hosted the Oscars and his eyes were all red! Now that would be funny but I guess also pretty unrealistic.
I guess instead of a funny Chris Rock in the audience we get these crazy assholes presenting awards in the audience! What the fuck? I admit I don't watch the Oscars much but that just seems gay even if they've always done that. All of the little transitional diaglogues by stupid celebrities were stupid and forced.Everything about the show was stupid. It was just like cheesy and stupid and pointless, fuck that. Some of the crazy shit they did was obviously to save time and shit...but I ask you, Oscar: Oscar, has this crazy showboat realy sunk that low? Apparently it has.
Also what's up with that Bud Light commercial with the cockateil who is Al Pacino in Scarface what the fuck? Fuck that. I saw this during the Superbowl too and I can tell you this advertisement is ridiculously ineffective and retarded if you ask me.
Well after that commercial the got back to the Oscars at some point and I noticed that everytime they have a camera on somebody in the audience it's always really close up and awkward. I think that they could lighten it up a little by doing something stupid like, I don't know, putting zooming cameras on watermellon-lookin miniature blimps like Gallagher had and sending them out into the audience to show the nominees! That would be sick. You'd probably be worried like that ha one of the blimps would crash into the audience but don't worry about that! Think about it, if that actually happened, which it never would, they could just cut the blimps engines and let the actors and actresses toss whatever's left of the blimp around like a beach ball! I don't know actually that sounds kind of dangerous, but ignoring that jesus anything's better than the current desperately uneventful award process. How am I supposed to take this shit seriously when it's all so stupid? You know what I've never seen during the Oscars? People flyin around on cables over the audience. I don't know how they'd pull it off but I guarantee you it could be done! Hey, Oscar: instead of having a stupid boring TV show why don't you make it awesome instead? Fuck you.