I just blew my hot load all over your gay doo-rag

So hey folks what's the deal with all these commercials on the TV using this chink dancehall music to sell their crrrrap? I am like, wow, jeez it's bad enough that we get all this super lame "hip-hop" forced down our throats whenever we turn on the cool TV...but now...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man! It's so gay and dancehall sucks anyways but the worst thing ever is when you take the hip-hop and you combine it with dancehall and you get a strange new sock of crap that I will call "dance-hop". Aaaand it's really gay and I hate it!
And even though I talked about this before here is my impression of a conversation I might have with a music fan:
Me: "Hey what's up friend, what's up?"
Jerk: "Oh nothing much, just listening to some house music."
Me: "Ooooooh, I love techno, it's so cool."
Jerk: "Ummm...no. This isn't techno...it's house."
Me: "Ya right it's techno and you know it, fuckpuss."
Okay so now I will talk about crunk rap. I am conflicted, because crunk rap is so great and awesome and funny but at the same time it's gayer than two guys having sex in San Francisco. The problem with crunk rap is that's it's hip to trip and so everybody's got their faggot ass crunk rap beatz like what the fuck Petey Pablo you big sell out. Watching crunk rap evolve into a mainstream phenomenon is like watching asian man throw up his meal and then shove the puke up his butt and then poop out the puke and eat it again, if you know what I mean. Crunk rap has taken a genre of music that was already lacking in actual musical sensibilites and poured lemonade on it. And that's not a good thing. I mean, I thought I would be the last person to say something like this, but it's just not music. It's just not and if you want to start an argument about it that's fine cause you will end up getting punched in the face by yours truly. One thing I do like about crunk rap is that it's easy to trace the musical lineage from one song to the next. For example, we can look at an old-school crunk rap song such as "Get Low" and watch as it transforms itself into "Salt Shaker" and eventaully "What's Happenin". It's magic. Also like the Youngbloodz' funky tribute to being a free spirit "Damn" is essentially the same song as Lil' Scrappy's "No Problems". And have you seen the video for that "Big Crappy" tune? It's just a rip-off of the classic film Training Day! Or maybe it's a tribute of sorts. I guess the Snoop Dog in a wheelchair thing is kind of a dead giveaway. I guess Denzel puts 'em in the chairs and Scrappy tips 'em out. But then again I think Denzel did that too...I don't get it. It's okay to get HIV now cause they will probably have a cure before you die off of it.