The past coupla days have been really tough for me

I never thought I'd be envious of Martin Lawrence...but then I saw that video of Martin having sex with Britney Spears, and it was hot. Damn....fuck!
I would like to be the coach of a WNBA team so that I would get to hang out with a bunch of sexy ladies all day!
I learned from the movie Strange Days that you're supposed to love somebody for their imperfections, not their...perfections. This is why I'm proud to announce thaT I'm madly in love with Fergie from Black Eyed Peas.
Have you ever tried to jump over somebody who is crouching down but you don't jump high enough and your crotch smashes them in the face....and then they start sucking you off? Ya well it's never happened to me either but that would be funny if it did!
THE LADY IN SPIDERMAN 2 SINGING THE ANNOYING SPIDERMAN SONG IS MY HERO ALONG W/ THE GUY IN THE 6 FLAGS COMMERCIAL!!!!!!!!
GO DC!