March Madness

Hey hey everybody, it's March Madness time again! This special time whch only comes once a year is the ultimate college basketball square-off and in fact you might even say that it's the "world series" of college basketball! Are you excited? A lot of people are, including my cousin Jaime from Michigan.
I was surfing the internet and I happened to see my cousin Jaime's way message which was this: "NCAA MARCH MADNESS!! WOOOO!!!" Okay it didn't actually say woo I was just playing around there folks.
Anyway my cousin has the right attitude, and I want to talk about that but first I would like to explain some general basketball rules to any of the ladies out there who don't know how to play. Basically, two teams of 5 guys face each other on the basketball court and they try to score points. Players score points by shooting the ball into a "basket". They earn two points for shots made close to the hoop (including slam dunks) . If they are outside of the "3-point arc" and they shoot and make it then they get 3 points, otherwise known as a 3-pointer! If a player breaks one of the tough but fair rules of safety on the court, they get what is known as a "foul". Fouls are generally bad but can be used strategicaly. If you get six fouls then you are out of the game, buddy. Sometimes if a player commits a foul, the "foulee" gets to take one or two shots from the foul line. I don't have time to explain the foul line, so read a basketball book or just watch a game if you really need to figure out. Whether a fouled played takes one shot or two is totally random and arbitrary. Sometimes (approximately 1/30 times) the person shooting foul shots shoots 3 of them. So after all this, if you are asking yourself, "How does the basketball game end?" the answer is that the first team to 100 total points wins! The longest professional basketball game ever laster 4 hours and 47 minutes because all the players were really old and they couldn't score 100 points!! Hey of course I'm just kidding here folks.
Okay so now that you basically understand basketball, you can see how it makes for a pretty entertaining sport to follow on a college level. So, while you might not generally agree with my cousin Jaime's points of view on March Madness, you have to respect him for really liking something!
Now, that said, here's why March Madness is kinda gay: no Ducks. That's right the fact is that the Oregon men's team sucks a bunch and they didn't even get into the NIT I think which means they are pretty bad. Even if they are in the NIT I doubt the team's ability to take home the win there..."Go Ducks?" would be the main headline title of the Register Guard the day after the NCAA draft if I were in charge over there. What the fuck?
Well happy Saint Patricks Day everybody! Tonight I had my first Guiness which is bizarre if you think about it considering I'm like 95%+ IRISH! I shit you not. Well it kinda sucked but I think I was supposed to maybe shake it up first cause it was Guiness draught in a can and when I was done there was something at the bottom of the can and it seemed kinda like the ball in a spray paint can ya know? Although I guess maybe you wouldn't want to shake up a beer even if it does have some metal thing inside of it, right? Oh well I don't know what was up with that!
If there's one thing I've learned it's that you really shouldn't correct people in conversation unless it's for their distinct and immediate benefit. Correcting people, even in an offhand manner often leads to awkward conversational moments as there is no real way to move on from somebody correcting you except to thank them and try to put your life back together piece by piece. Really the only people I know who still actively correct people just because they can are smartass assholes and faggots. If you are having a nice conversation with your friends and somebody says something that is imprecise or false and you correct them then the odds are there is somebody else there who could have corrected them even better than you but they didn't because they're humble and respectful and now they know you're an asshole. Which of these people would you rather hang out with? I can telllll you right now that I would rather hang out with that first smart person because that's me and I've never hung out with anybody quite like me and it would probably be really great because we would both really cool but also hella chill!
I think it's a good time to talk about my new favorite TV show: Wheel of Fortune! Wheel of Fortune isn't just flashy lights and big money, it's also got heart and soul that, and I hate to say it but I have to, only in America! Pat Sajak is genuinely charming and Vanna White is still a babe at 50! I'm just kidding she's probably more like 55 but man she sure knows how to light up those letters! Hey, Vanna, I've got a puzzle for you, gimme 3 consonants and a vowel...;-O
Okay folks well finally, here's another wild and crazy pic straight from the heart of Booztown...this one's called "More Jerk for the Work"