The Reality Show Gang-Bang (Formerly the Reality Show Round-Up)

What's up my loyal fan base?!? How's he/she/it hangin'? Well I'm sorry I haven't posted any new entires in a few days, but I have a good excuse...I've been moving into my new place! Well, I actually finished moving in a few days ago, but it took a while to get my phone line up and running. Yes folks, my i-net is working just fine now, but I'm on dial-up so don't try to send me any large files!
Well, anyways okay folks I'd like to take a moment to talk about reality TV. I don't know if any of you know this, but reality TV shows now account for 95% percent of the programming on the major networks...just kidding! It's not really 95%, that's just a little joke I like to tell to make people crack up! The point is that there are a lot of great reality TV shows on TV, and I watch them all.
My favorite reality show is The Bachelorette. On this show, a bunch of hunky dudes compete for the attentions of Jen Schefft, the most beautiful woman in America. If you've ever watched "The Bachelor", it's kind of like that but this time it's a woman who is being courted by a bunch of potential lovers. I think the season finale of this is coming up this week, because everybody I know has been really stressed out, probably because they are so anxious to know who Jen picks to marry forever! I was watching an earlier episode from this season of "The Bachelorette" and I made the genius observation that this whole thing would be a lot easier if she just fucked all of the guys at once. I think that Jen would get a kick out of that! But seriously folks, I am kind of worried about Jen because what if her soulmate has a small cock?!? She still has to get married to him at the end of the show anyway so she had better watch out! My advice to Jen would be to grab all of the guys' boners through their pants before she picks one, that way she can get a good impression of how hot his cock is beforehand! It just makes sense, folks.
My second favorite reality show is The Starting Over House. Okay, just kidding, it's actually called "Starting Over" but it should be called "The Starting Over House" because it's about a house where women go to start over. If you know any women, then you realize that most of them have a lot of starting over to do ha! There's this chick on the starting over house who has bad amnesia or something so she doesn't remember much and so when she watches herself on the starting over house like 4 months later she is probably like "Oh who's that handsome woman on the TV screen? Oh wait, it's me! Wahahahah!"
The Amazing Race. What can I say about this show that hasn't already been said by the title itself? For those who haven't seen this program, it's essentially about an amazing race around the world! Contestants have to do stuff like bungee jump off of the Eifel Tower and then hoof it over to the Arc de Triomphe to get their next clue. Amazing, huh? Well, earlier when I was talking about Jen Schefft, that got me thinking...this is what I thought: Speaking of people named Jen, my friend's fat sister and her fat friend Jen really like watching the Amazing Race. This wouldn't have been worth mentioning if they weren't so super fat! Basically, I think the ultimate irony of this is that these obese women really enjoyed a show which centers around kind of being in a hurry to go places, while they themselves were very fat and probably ate a bunch and didn't excercize! Maybe if these crazy fat women would have spent more time running around sort of fast and less time watching TV then maybe they wouldn't be so fat!
This isn't a reality show really but the other night I watched some crazy teen best friends win a $100,000 bonus prize on Wheel of Fortune! Now that's what I call "big money!"
Okay well I guess that's all I have to say for now, but before I go, here's a final thought: Tonight somebody asked me for gum. I looked through my backpack but I couldn't find any! If I had, though, I could have made a new friend. It turns out somebody else had gum so everything turned out all right, but if I had invested like 25 cents in a pack of gum I might have given off a slightly better impression! So the next time you are in a store staring at a pack of gum, BUY IT!
Music: Scarface - "Recognize"